The Phantom Flag Hex of Kirk Cousins
Kirk Cousins · MIN · QB
“At 38, Cousins is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins Cousins's week
- Cousins is a game-time decision, and the decision is made by a poltergeist.
- Cousins is hit with a "pre-existing condition" that was not pre-existing until just now.
75%POTENCY
-9.4PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The soul of a QB who threw to the wrong team
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
Incantation
Eye of Colts, tongue of ref,
Bring Vikings down to grief,
Cousins scores zero, past belief!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Josh Allen
- Drake Maye
- Justin Jefferson
- Joe Burrow
- Jayden Daniels
- Caleb Williams
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
- Brock Purdy
FAQ
How do I curse Kirk Cousins in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Kirk Cousins is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Kirk Cousins actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.