The Pick-Six Hex of Kirk Cousins
Kirk Cousins · MIN · QB
“At 38, Cousins is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.” — Auntie Audible
More ways the witch ruins Cousins's week
- The play clock hits zero on Cousins four separate times. Five yards. Five yards. Five yards.
- A mysterious flag erases Cousins's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.
92%POTENCY
-16.9PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single Bills jersey, ironically worn
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
Incantation
Cousins, Cousins, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Josh Allen
- Drake Maye
- Justin Jefferson
- Joe Burrow
- Jayden Daniels
- Caleb Williams
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
- Brock Purdy
FAQ
How do I curse Kirk Cousins in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Kirk Cousins is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Kirk Cousins actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.