The Sideline-Scold Hex of Kirk Cousins
Kirk Cousins · MIN · QB
“At 38, Cousins is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.” — Auntie Audible
More ways the witch ruins Cousins's week
- Cousins tweaks something in warm-ups. He'll be fine. He will also score zero.
- Cousins will throw a pick-six, then a safety, then apologize to his offensive line in the post-game presser.
92%POTENCY
-9.2PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
Incantation
Cousins, Cousins, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Josh Allen
- Drake Maye
- Justin Jefferson
- Joe Burrow
- Caleb Williams
- Jayden Daniels
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
- Brock Purdy
FAQ
How do I curse Kirk Cousins in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Kirk Cousins is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Kirk Cousins actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.