The Checkdown Hex of Kirk Cousins
Kirk Cousins · MIN · QB
“At 38, Cousins is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.” — Baba Blitz
More ways the witch ruins Cousins's week
- Cousins throws a perfect spiral to a guy who is not wearing his team's jersey.
- Cousins finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
74%POTENCY
-17.3PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
- A single Commanders jersey, ironically worn
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
Incantation
Double, double, toil and trouble,
Cousins's stat line, now a rubble,
Inactive by kickoff, pop that bubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Josh Allen
- Drake Maye
- Justin Jefferson
- Joe Burrow
- Caleb Williams
- Jayden Daniels
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
- Brock Purdy
FAQ
How do I curse Kirk Cousins in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Kirk Cousins is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Kirk Cousins actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.