The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Kirk Cousins
Kirk Cousins · MIN · QB
“At 38, Cousins is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.” — Granny Gridiron
More ways the witch ruins Cousins's week
- Cousins gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Michigan State's biggest rival.
- Cousins throws a perfect spiral to a guy who is not wearing his team's jersey.
72%POTENCY
-10PTS DRAINED
Eye-Roll MaterialVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Cardinals locker room
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- The soul of a QB who threw to the wrong team
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Cousins drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Josh Allen
- Drake Maye
- Justin Jefferson
- Joe Burrow
- Jayden Daniels
- Caleb Williams
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
- Brock Purdy
FAQ
How do I curse Kirk Cousins in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Kirk Cousins is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Kirk Cousins actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.