The Kneel-Down Hex of Kirk Cousins
Kirk Cousins · MIN · QB
“At 38, Cousins is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.” — Auntie Audible
More ways the witch ruins Cousins's week
- Cousins gets hit on the arm in the first quarter and "plays through it" at 41% accuracy.
- Cousins's best play of the day happens on a play where he is not the ball carrier.
78%POTENCY
-19.3PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Cousins drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Josh Allen
- Drake Maye
- Justin Jefferson
- Joe Burrow
- Jayden Daniels
- Caleb Williams
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
- Brock Purdy
FAQ
How do I curse Kirk Cousins in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Kirk Cousins is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Kirk Cousins actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.