The Hamstring Hex of Kirk Cousins
Kirk Cousins · MIN · QB
“Cousins will throw a pick-six, then a safety, then apologize to his offensive line in the post-game presser.” — Lady Last-Minute Scratch
More ways the witch ruins Cousins's week
- Cousins gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Michigan State's biggest rival.
- At 38, Cousins is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.
86%POTENCY
-11.8PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
- A single tear from a Bears fan
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Cousins's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Josh Allen
- Drake Maye
- Justin Jefferson
- Joe Burrow
- Jayden Daniels
- Caleb Williams
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
- Brock Purdy
FAQ
How do I curse Kirk Cousins in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Kirk Cousins is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Kirk Cousins actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.