The Sack Spiral Hex of Kirk Cousins
Kirk Cousins · MIN · QB
“At 38, Cousins is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Cousins's week
- Coach will call 4 straight handoffs inside the 5. For Cousins, the end zone is a rumor.
- Cousins gets hit on the arm in the first quarter and "plays through it" at 41% accuracy.
86%POTENCY
-11.3PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A used challenge flag
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Buccaneers locker room
Incantation
By horn of fumbled ball,
By sack that drops them all,
Cousins, drop it, trip it, fall!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Josh Allen
- Drake Maye
- Justin Jefferson
- Joe Burrow
- Jayden Daniels
- Caleb Williams
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
- Brock Purdy
FAQ
How do I curse Kirk Cousins in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Kirk Cousins is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Kirk Cousins actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.