The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Kirk Cousins
Kirk Cousins · MIN · QB
“At 38, Cousins is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.” — Auntie Audible
More ways the witch ruins Cousins's week
- Cousins gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Michigan State's biggest rival.
- Cousins is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
83%POTENCY
-11PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
- A single tear from a 49ers fan
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Cousins's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Josh Allen
- Drake Maye
- Justin Jefferson
- Joe Burrow
- Jayden Daniels
- Caleb Williams
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
- Brock Purdy
FAQ
How do I curse Kirk Cousins in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Kirk Cousins is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Kirk Cousins actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.