The Kneel-Down Hex of Kirk Cousins
Kirk Cousins · MIN · QB
“At 38, Cousins is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.” — Sister Sack
More ways the witch ruins Cousins's week
- Cousins scores 0 fantasy points and is somehow also responsible for 2 turnovers.
- Cousins will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.
72%POTENCY
-12.8PTS DRAINED
Eye-Roll MaterialVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
Incantation
Cousins, Cousins, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Josh Allen
- Drake Maye
- Justin Jefferson
- Joe Burrow
- Jayden Daniels
- Caleb Williams
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
- Brock Purdy
FAQ
How do I curse Kirk Cousins in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Kirk Cousins is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Kirk Cousins actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.