The Late Scratch Hex of Kirk Cousins
Kirk Cousins · MIN · QB
“At 38, Cousins is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.” — Baba Blitz
More ways the witch ruins Cousins's week
- A localized thunderstorm forms over Cousins's stadium. Only over Cousins.
- Cousins gets "rested" in a week the team clinched nothing.
88%POTENCY
-13.2PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- A single tear from a Raiders fan
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Cousins's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Josh Allen
- Drake Maye
- Justin Jefferson
- Joe Burrow
- Caleb Williams
- Jayden Daniels
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
- Brock Purdy
FAQ
How do I curse Kirk Cousins in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Kirk Cousins is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Kirk Cousins actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.