The Intentional Grounding Hex of Kirk Cousins
Kirk Cousins · MIN · QB
“At 38, Cousins is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.” — Madame Waiver Wire
More ways the witch ruins Cousins's week
- Cousins sees a depth chart rewrite 11 minutes before kickoff. His name is now in smaller font.
- Cousins will throw a pick-six, then a safety, then apologize to his offensive line in the post-game presser.
84%POTENCY
-9.8PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- The soul of a QB who threw to the wrong team
Incantation
O ancient spirits of the lost challenge flag,
Take Cousins's points and put them in a bag,
Leave only a "DNP" and a sad little shrug.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Josh Allen
- Drake Maye
- Justin Jefferson
- Joe Burrow
- Caleb Williams
- Jayden Daniels
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
- Brock Purdy
FAQ
How do I curse Kirk Cousins in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Kirk Cousins is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Kirk Cousins actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.