The Hamstring Hex of Kirk Cousins
Kirk Cousins · MIN · QB
“Ref: "Number Cousins, that's a flag." Cousins: "What flag?" Ref: "The one on the previous TD."” — The Hex-Pert
More ways the witch ruins Cousins's week
- At 38, Cousins is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.
- Cousins will do something so quietly mediocre that the box score doubts he played.
84%POTENCY
-14PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Saints locker room
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Cousins's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Josh Allen
- Drake Maye
- Justin Jefferson
- Joe Burrow
- Jayden Daniels
- Caleb Williams
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
- Brock Purdy
FAQ
How do I curse Kirk Cousins in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Kirk Cousins is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Kirk Cousins actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.