The Sunday Night Fade Hex of Kirk Cousins
Kirk Cousins · MIN · QB
“At 38, Cousins is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.” — Lady Last-Minute Scratch
More ways the witch ruins Cousins's week
- Garbage time arrives early for Cousins: 29 points of garbage, scored by the other team.
- Cousins is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
78%POTENCY
-17.6PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A used challenge flag
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Cousins's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Josh Allen
- Drake Maye
- Justin Jefferson
- Joe Burrow
- Jayden Daniels
- Caleb Williams
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
- Brock Purdy
FAQ
How do I curse Kirk Cousins in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Kirk Cousins is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Kirk Cousins actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.