The Late Scratch Hex of Kirk Cousins
Kirk Cousins · MIN · QB
“At 38, Cousins is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.” — Lady Last-Minute Scratch
More ways the witch ruins Cousins's week
- Cousins is hit with a "pre-existing condition" that was not pre-existing until just now.
- A mysterious flag erases Cousins's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.
73%POTENCY
-15.3PTS DRAINED
Sunday RuinerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Cousins's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Josh Allen
- Drake Maye
- Justin Jefferson
- Joe Burrow
- Caleb Williams
- Jayden Daniels
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
- Brock Purdy
FAQ
How do I curse Kirk Cousins in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Kirk Cousins is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Kirk Cousins actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.