The Checkdown Hex of Kirk Cousins
Kirk Cousins · MIN · QB
“At 38, Cousins is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Cousins's week
- Cousins will throw a pick-six, then a safety, then apologize to his offensive line in the post-game presser.
- Cousins will be in the end zone. With the ball. And the whistle already blown. Dead ball.
80%POTENCY
-9.3PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Cousins's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Josh Allen
- Drake Maye
- Justin Jefferson
- Joe Burrow
- Caleb Williams
- Jayden Daniels
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
- Brock Purdy
FAQ
How do I curse Kirk Cousins in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Kirk Cousins is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Kirk Cousins actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.