The Sack Spiral Hex of Kirk Cousins
Kirk Cousins · MIN · QB
“Cousins will throw a pick-six, then a safety, then apologize to his offensive line in the post-game presser.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Cousins's week
- At 38, Cousins is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.
- Cousins slides before the first-down marker, a moral victory for his health and nobody else.
82%POTENCY
-16.9PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The dying breath of a waiver claim
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
- One bottle of luck. Empty. Recycled.
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
Incantation
Cousins, Cousins, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Josh Allen
- Drake Maye
- Justin Jefferson
- Joe Burrow
- Caleb Williams
- Jayden Daniels
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
- Brock Purdy
FAQ
How do I curse Kirk Cousins in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Kirk Cousins is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Kirk Cousins actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.