The Intentional Grounding Hex of Kirk Cousins
Kirk Cousins · MIN · QB
“At 38, Cousins is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins Cousins's week
- Cousins gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Michigan State's biggest rival.
- Coach will call 4 straight handoffs inside the 5. For Cousins, the end zone is a rumor.
73%POTENCY
-14.1PTS DRAINED
Ruined BrunchVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- One (1) lucky coin, flipped incorrectly
- A single Saints jersey, ironically worn
Incantation
Double, double, toil and trouble,
Cousins's stat line, now a rubble,
Inactive by kickoff, pop that bubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Josh Allen
- Drake Maye
- Justin Jefferson
- Joe Burrow
- Jayden Daniels
- Caleb Williams
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
- Brock Purdy
FAQ
How do I curse Kirk Cousins in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Kirk Cousins is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Kirk Cousins actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.