The Mystery Tweak Hex of Kirk Cousins
Kirk Cousins · MIN · QB
“At 38, Cousins is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.” — Sister Sack
More ways the witch ruins Cousins's week
- Cousins is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
- Cousins will scan the entire field, find nobody open, and take a 9-yard sack for his trouble.
85%POTENCY
-10.4PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Titans locker room
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- The soul of a QB who threw to the wrong team
Incantation
By the pale blue light of the injury tag,
Cousins, hear me, and start to lag,
Your best play is a flag. Your worst is the bag.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Josh Allen
- Drake Maye
- Justin Jefferson
- Joe Burrow
- Caleb Williams
- Jayden Daniels
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
- Brock Purdy
FAQ
How do I curse Kirk Cousins in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Kirk Cousins is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Kirk Cousins actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.