The Kneel-Down Hex of Kirk Cousins
Kirk Cousins · MIN · QB
“Cousins's only highlight is a block, and it is not even a good one.” — The Hex-Pert
More ways the witch ruins Cousins's week
- At 38, Cousins is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.
- Coach will call 4 straight handoffs inside the 5. For Cousins, the end zone is a rumor.
82%POTENCY
-15.2PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Commanders locker room
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- A single Broncos jersey, ironically worn
- Powdered kicker confidence
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Cousins drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Josh Allen
- Drake Maye
- Justin Jefferson
- Joe Burrow
- Jayden Daniels
- Caleb Williams
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
- Brock Purdy
FAQ
How do I curse Kirk Cousins in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Kirk Cousins is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Kirk Cousins actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.