The Out-of-Bounds Hex of Matthew Golden
Matthew Golden · GB · WR
“Golden finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.” — Aunt Prevent
More ways the witch ruins Golden's week
- Golden is the primary read on every play... for the other team's film study.
- Golden gets a stat correction that takes away 2.4 points, 4 days later, at 3:17 AM.
79%POTENCY
-18.2PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- The soul of a QB who threw to the wrong team
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Golden drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Josh Jacobs
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Matthew Golden in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Matthew Golden is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Matthew Golden actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.