The Phantom Holding Hex of Matthew Golden
Matthew Golden · GB · WR
“Golden tweaks something in warm-ups. He'll be fine. He will also score zero.” — Lady Last-Minute Scratch
More ways the witch ruins Golden's week
- Golden does a touchdown dance for a TD that is overturned by review. Slowly. With zoom.
- The QB looks at Golden exactly once: a 3-yard out on 3rd-and-9.
87%POTENCY
-17.3PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Golden drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Josh Jacobs
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Matthew Golden in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Matthew Golden is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Matthew Golden actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.