The Sunday Night Fade Hex of Matthew Golden
Matthew Golden · GB · WR
“Golden gets quarantined by a cornerback named Cornelius who has never been beaten. Ever.” — Auntie Audible
More ways the witch ruins Golden's week
- Golden drops a wide-open touchdown, then celebrates anyway for 40 seconds.
- Golden finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
81%POTENCY
-10.5PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
Incantation
Eye of Giants, tongue of ref,
Bring Packers down to grief,
Golden scores zero, past belief!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Josh Jacobs
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Matthew Golden in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Matthew Golden is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Matthew Golden actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.