The Hamstring Hex of Matthew Golden
Matthew Golden · GB · WR
“A localized thunderstorm forms over Golden's stadium. Only over Golden.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Golden's week
- Golden gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Texas's biggest rival.
- Golden's only highlight is a block, and it is not even a good one.
89%POTENCY
-16.8PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The dying breath of a waiver claim
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- An unused timeout (still warm)
Incantation
Double, double, toil and trouble,
Golden's stat line, now a rubble,
Inactive by kickoff, pop that bubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Josh Jacobs
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Matthew Golden in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Matthew Golden is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Matthew Golden actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.