The Shadow Coverage Hex of Matthew Golden
Matthew Golden · GB · WR
“Golden's only highlight is a block, and it is not even a good one.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Golden's week
- A mysterious flag erases Golden's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.
- Golden finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
75%POTENCY
-11.8PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Patriots locker room
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- One (1) lucky coin, flipped incorrectly
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Golden drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Josh Jacobs
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
FAQ
How do I curse Matthew Golden in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Matthew Golden is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Matthew Golden actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.