The Kneel-Down Hex of Matthew Stafford
Matthew Stafford · LAR · QB
“Stafford slides before the first-down marker, a moral victory for his health and nobody else.” — Auntie Audible
More ways the witch ruins Stafford's week
- At 38, Stafford is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.
- Stafford gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Georgia's biggest rival.
79%POTENCY
-12PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
Incantation
By the pale blue light of the injury tag,
Stafford, hear me, and start to lag,
Your best play is a flag. Your worst is the bag.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Josh Allen
- Drake Maye
- Kyren Williams
- Joe Burrow
- Jayden Daniels
- Caleb Williams
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
- Brock Purdy
FAQ
How do I curse Matthew Stafford in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Matthew Stafford is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Matthew Stafford actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.