The Sideline-Scold Hex of Matthew Stafford
Matthew Stafford · LAR · QB
“Stafford will be in the end zone. With the ball. And the whistle already blown. Dead ball.” — Baba Blitz
More ways the witch ruins Stafford's week
- At 38, Stafford is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.
- The broadcast shows Stafford on the sideline with an ice pack for the entire 4th quarter.
88%POTENCY
-19.4PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
- The last good thing your opponent said about their lineup
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
Incantation
Eye of Steelers, tongue of ref,
Bring Rams down to grief,
Stafford scores zero, past belief!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Josh Allen
- Drake Maye
- Kyren Williams
- Joe Burrow
- Caleb Williams
- Jayden Daniels
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
- Brock Purdy
FAQ
How do I curse Matthew Stafford in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Matthew Stafford is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Matthew Stafford actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.