The Sideline-Scold Hex of Matthew Stafford
Matthew Stafford · LAR · QB
“Stafford goes down with a "tweak" in a game that was already won. Never even needed him.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Stafford's week
- Stafford will be "questionable" by Sunday morning, "inactive" by 11:58 AM, and "seen at brunch" by Monday.
- A mysterious flag erases Stafford's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.
83%POTENCY
-15.7PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Stafford drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Josh Allen
- Drake Maye
- Kyren Williams
- Joe Burrow
- Caleb Williams
- Jayden Daniels
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
- Brock Purdy
FAQ
How do I curse Matthew Stafford in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Matthew Stafford is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Matthew Stafford actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.