The Kneel-Down Hex of Matthew Stafford
Matthew Stafford · LAR · QB
“Stafford finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.” — Zelda the Zero-Pointer
More ways the witch ruins Stafford's week
- At 38, Stafford is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.
- Stafford leads a 14-play, 9-minute drive that ends in a field goal. Fantasy points: 1.6.
78%POTENCY
-14.6PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- An unused timeout (still warm)
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Stafford drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Josh Allen
- Drake Maye
- Kyren Williams
- Joe Burrow
- Caleb Williams
- Jayden Daniels
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
- Brock Purdy
FAQ
How do I curse Matthew Stafford in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Matthew Stafford is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Matthew Stafford actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.