The Sideline-Scold Hex of Matthew Stafford
Matthew Stafford · LAR · QB
“Every deep ball Stafford throws lands exactly one inch out of bounds.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Stafford's week
- Stafford is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
- At 38, Stafford is already part dust. The witch has almost no work to do.
79%POTENCY
-15.8PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- One (1) lucky coin, flipped incorrectly
- An unused timeout (still warm)
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Stafford drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Josh Allen
- Drake Maye
- Kyren Williams
- Joe Burrow
- Caleb Williams
- Jayden Daniels
- Justin Herbert
- Dak Prescott
- Patrick Mahomes
- Trevor Lawrence
- Bo Nix
- Brock Purdy
FAQ
How do I curse Matthew Stafford in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Matthew Stafford is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Matthew Stafford actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.