The Garbage-Time Hex of New England Patriots
New England Patriots defense
“The Patriots defense scores a tackle-for-loss. In the other team's highlight reel.” — Granny Gridiron
More ways the witch ruins New England Patriots defense's week
- The Patriots offense turns it over 4 times in their own territory. The defense is simply tired.
- The Patriots defense is gashed by a QB who has not thrown a TD all year. His mom is in the stands.
74%POTENCY
-19.7PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
Incantation
Patriots, Patriots, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Drake Maye
- A.J. Brown
- TreVeyon Henderson
- Rhamondre Stevenson
- Hunter Henry
- Andy Borregales
- Kyle Williams
- Cameron Latu
- Eli Raridon
- Houston Texans
- Baltimore Ravens
- Pittsburgh Steelers
FAQ
How do I curse New England Patriots defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If New England Patriots defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing New England Patriots defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.