The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of New England Patriots
New England Patriots defense
“The Patriots defense allows a kick returner to run 98 yards. He has a hip flexor. He was walking.” — Auntie Audible
More ways the witch ruins New England Patriots defense's week
- The Patriots defense is "disguising coverages". The disguise is a clown nose. Fully see-through.
- The Patriots defense allows a 99-yard drive, a 71-yard punt return, and a trick play from the 1989 playbook.
82%POTENCY
-11.3PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- A single Texans jersey, ironically worn
Incantation
By the pale blue light of the injury tag,
Patriots, hear me, and start to lag,
Your best play is a flag. Your worst is the bag.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Drake Maye
- A.J. Brown
- TreVeyon Henderson
- Rhamondre Stevenson
- Hunter Henry
- Andy Borregales
- Kyle Williams
- Cameron Latu
- Eli Raridon
- Houston Texans
- Baltimore Ravens
- Pittsburgh Steelers
FAQ
How do I curse New England Patriots defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If New England Patriots defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing New England Patriots defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.