The Blown Coverage Hex of New England Patriots
New England Patriots defense
“The Patriots defense scores a tackle-for-loss. In the other team's highlight reel.” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins New England Patriots defense's week
- The Patriots defense lets a 4th-and-17 conversion happen. Then another. Then a trick play.
- The Patriots defense allows a kick returner to run 98 yards. He has a hip flexor. He was walking.
85%POTENCY
-13.3PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
Incantation
Eye of Seahawks, tongue of ref,
Bring Patriots down to grief,
Patriots scores zero, past belief!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Drake Maye
- A.J. Brown
- TreVeyon Henderson
- Rhamondre Stevenson
- Hunter Henry
- Andy Borregales
- Kyle Williams
- Cameron Latu
- Eli Raridon
- Houston Texans
- Baltimore Ravens
- Pittsburgh Steelers
FAQ
How do I curse New England Patriots defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If New England Patriots defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing New England Patriots defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.