The Late Scratch Hex of New England Patriots
New England Patriots defense
“The Patriots defense is "bend, don't break" and then breaks every single time.” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins New England Patriots defense's week
- The Patriots defense is "disguising coverages". The disguise is a clown nose. Fully see-through.
- The Patriots defense generates 0 sacks, 0 turnovers and a lot of vibes.
84%POTENCY
-13.6PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- A single tear from a Vikings fan
- The ashes of a 2019 draft pick
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
Incantation
Patriots, Patriots, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Drake Maye
- A.J. Brown
- TreVeyon Henderson
- Rhamondre Stevenson
- Hunter Henry
- Andy Borregales
- Kyle Williams
- Cameron Latu
- Eli Raridon
- Houston Texans
- Baltimore Ravens
- Pittsburgh Steelers
FAQ
How do I curse New England Patriots defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If New England Patriots defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing New England Patriots defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.