The Mystery Tweak Hex of New England Patriots
New England Patriots defense
“The Patriots defense allows a 99-yard drive, a 71-yard punt return, and a trick play from the 1989 playbook.” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins New England Patriots defense's week
- The Patriots defense is "bend, don't break" and then breaks every single time.
- The Patriots defense is "disguising coverages". The disguise is a clown nose. Fully see-through.
85%POTENCY
-18.1PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Raiders locker room
- An unused timeout (still warm)
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
- A single tear from a Jets fan
Incantation
By the pale blue light of the injury tag,
Patriots, hear me, and start to lag,
Your best play is a flag. Your worst is the bag.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Drake Maye
- A.J. Brown
- TreVeyon Henderson
- Rhamondre Stevenson
- Hunter Henry
- Andy Borregales
- Kyle Williams
- Cameron Latu
- Eli Raridon
- Houston Texans
- Baltimore Ravens
- Pittsburgh Steelers
FAQ
How do I curse New England Patriots defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If New England Patriots defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing New England Patriots defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.