The Inactive-at-11:58 Hex of New England Patriots
New England Patriots defense
“The Patriots defense allows a 99-yard drive, a 71-yard punt return, and a trick play from the 1989 playbook.” — Granny Gridiron
More ways the witch ruins New England Patriots defense's week
- The Patriots defense allows a kick returner to run 98 yards. He has a hip flexor. He was walking.
- The Patriots defense is "bend, don't break" and then breaks every single time.
82%POTENCY
-18.5PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- One (1) pre-owned hamstring
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
Incantation
Eye of Commanders, tongue of ref,
Bring Patriots down to grief,
Patriots scores zero, past belief!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Drake Maye
- A.J. Brown
- TreVeyon Henderson
- Rhamondre Stevenson
- Hunter Henry
- Andy Borregales
- Kyle Williams
- Cameron Latu
- Eli Raridon
- Houston Texans
- Baltimore Ravens
- Pittsburgh Steelers
FAQ
How do I curse New England Patriots defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If New England Patriots defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing New England Patriots defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.