The Mystery Tweak Hex of New England Patriots
New England Patriots defense
“The Patriots defense allows a kick returner to run 98 yards. He has a hip flexor. He was walking.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins New England Patriots defense's week
- The Patriots defense allows a 99-yard drive, a 71-yard punt return, and a trick play from the 1989 playbook.
- The Patriots defense is "disguising coverages". The disguise is a clown nose. Fully see-through.
83%POTENCY
-10.9PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single tear from a Lions fan
- A single Buccaneers jersey, ironically worn
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Patriots drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Drake Maye
- A.J. Brown
- TreVeyon Henderson
- Rhamondre Stevenson
- Hunter Henry
- Andy Borregales
- Kyle Williams
- Cameron Latu
- Eli Raridon
- Houston Texans
- Baltimore Ravens
- Pittsburgh Steelers
FAQ
How do I curse New England Patriots defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If New England Patriots defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing New England Patriots defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.