The Late Scratch Hex of New England Patriots
New England Patriots defense
“The Patriots defense allows a kick returner to run 98 yards. He has a hip flexor. He was walking.” — Madame Waiver Wire
More ways the witch ruins New England Patriots defense's week
- The Patriots will give up a touchdown to a tight end who was a high school wrestler. Net -2 points.
- The Patriots defense is "bend, don't break" and then breaks every single time.
88%POTENCY
-18.5PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- An unused timeout (still warm)
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
- A single Chiefs jersey, ironically worn
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Patriots's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Drake Maye
- A.J. Brown
- TreVeyon Henderson
- Rhamondre Stevenson
- Hunter Henry
- Andy Borregales
- Kyle Williams
- Cameron Latu
- Eli Raridon
- Houston Texans
- Baltimore Ravens
- Pittsburgh Steelers
FAQ
How do I curse New England Patriots defense in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If New England Patriots defense is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing New England Patriots defense actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.