The Hamstring Hex of Parker Washington
Parker Washington · JAX · WR
“Washington will be in the end zone. With the ball. And the whistle already blown. Dead ball.” — Aunt Prevent
More ways the witch ruins Washington's week
- Washington is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
- Washington gets benched in a blowout at halftime. The team then comes back. He watches. Smiling.
81%POTENCY
-19.7PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- A scorched fantasy football magazine, September issue
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
Incantation
Washington, Washington, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Ja'Marr Chase
- Amon-Ra St. Brown
- Jaxon Smith-Njigba
- CeeDee Lamb
- Justin Jefferson
- A.J. Brown
- Drake London
- Nico Collins
- George Pickens
- Malik Nabers
- Chris Olave
- Rashee Rice
FAQ
How do I curse Parker Washington in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Parker Washington is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Parker Washington actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.