The Snap Count Hex of Pharaoh Brown
Pharaoh Brown · IND · TE
“Brown finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Brown's week
- A localized thunderstorm forms over Brown's stadium. Only over Brown.
- Ref: "Number Brown, that's a flag." Brown: "What flag?" Ref: "The one on the previous TD."
89%POTENCY
-9.8PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Falcons locker room
- The sacred tears of a #1 waiver priority
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Brown's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Jonathan Taylor
- Brock Bowers
- Trey McBride
- Colston Loveland
- Tyler Warren
- Sam LaPorta
- Harold Fannin Jr.
- Tucker Kraft
- Kyle Pitts Sr.
- George Kittle
- Dalton Kincaid
- Oronde Gadsden
FAQ
How do I curse Pharaoh Brown in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Pharaoh Brown is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Pharaoh Brown actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.