The Upright Hex of Riley Patterson
Riley Patterson · BAL · K
“Patterson gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Memphis's biggest rival.” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins Patterson's week
- Patterson's only highlight is a block, and it is not even a good one.
- Patterson gets one attempt: a 63-yarder into a headwind. Wide left. 0 points. 1 tear.
91%POTENCY
-17PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single Jets jersey, ironically worn
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
Incantation
By the pale blue light of the injury tag,
Patterson, hear me, and start to lag,
Your best play is a flag. Your worst is the bag.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Derrick Henry
- Zay Flowers
- Brandon Aubrey
- Mark Andrews
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Ja'Kobi Lane
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Riley Patterson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Riley Patterson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Riley Patterson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.