The Inactive-at-11:58 Hex of Riley Patterson
Riley Patterson · BAL · K
“Patterson goes down with a "tweak" in a game that was already won. Never even needed him.” — Auntie Audible
More ways the witch ruins Patterson's week
- Patterson gets benched in a blowout at halftime. The team then comes back. He watches. Smiling.
- A mysterious flag erases Patterson's only good play. The ref will not make eye contact.
86%POTENCY
-11.5PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- A single Cardinals jersey, ironically worn
- Smoke from a burning depth chart
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Patterson drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
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FAQ
How do I curse Riley Patterson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Riley Patterson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Riley Patterson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.