The Gone-in-the-Fourth Hex of Riley Patterson
Riley Patterson · BAL · K
“Patterson gets "rested" in a week the team clinched nothing.” — Mother Matchup
More ways the witch ruins Patterson's week
- Patterson is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
- Patterson gets 2 attempts, both blocked by someone who is not even tall.
75%POTENCY
-16.1PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A single Titans jersey, ironically worn
- Powdered tears from a kicker who "was fine" at practice
- The playbook your coordinator definitely lost
- Powdered kicker confidence
Incantation
Newt and bat and gridiron dust,
Patterson drops one, as all fantasy must,
Questionable by noon, in the witch we trust.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
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FAQ
How do I curse Riley Patterson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Riley Patterson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Riley Patterson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.