The Inactive-at-11:58 Hex of Riley Patterson
Riley Patterson · BAL · K
“Patterson's only highlight is a block, and it is not even a good one.” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins Patterson's week
- Patterson hits the upright twice, then the other upright, then somehow the crossbar from the side.
- Patterson is on the field for exactly 38% of snaps in a "rotation" only the coach understands.
76%POTENCY
-17.9PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
- A cup of hot cocoa, spilled on the depth chart
- A tablespoon of "I told you so" (aged 7 years)
Incantation
Double, double, toil and trouble,
Patterson's stat line, now a rubble,
Inactive by kickoff, pop that bubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Derrick Henry
- Zay Flowers
- Brandon Aubrey
- Mark Andrews
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Ja'Kobi Lane
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Riley Patterson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Riley Patterson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Riley Patterson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.