The Phantom Flag Hex of Riley Patterson
Riley Patterson · BAL · K
“Patterson is hit with a "pre-existing condition" that was not pre-existing until just now.” — Mistress Misfire
More ways the witch ruins Patterson's week
- Patterson's only highlight is a block, and it is not even a good one.
- Patterson gets one attempt: a 63-yarder into a headwind. Wide left. 0 points. 1 tear.
83%POTENCY
-19PTS DRAINED
Needs a PriestVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- The last HD stream that wasn't buffering
- The echo of a referee saying "no catch"
- A suspicious amount of glitter and a printed injury report
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Patterson's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Derrick Henry
- Zay Flowers
- Brandon Aubrey
- Mark Andrews
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Ja'Kobi Lane
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Riley Patterson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Riley Patterson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Riley Patterson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.