The Sunday Night Fade Hex of Riley Patterson
Riley Patterson · BAL · K
“Patterson's only highlight is a block, and it is not even a good one.” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins Patterson's week
- Patterson finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
- The wind in the stadium is 22 mph. Patterson is aware. The ball is aware. Only the ball cares.
76%POTENCY
-13.5PTS DRAINED
Season WobblerVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
- A single Cowboys jersey, ironically worn
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
Incantation
Bubble, bubble, benched in trouble,
Patterson drops it, double, double,
Hex, hex, hex, and the stat sheet's rubble!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Derrick Henry
- Zay Flowers
- Brandon Aubrey
- Mark Andrews
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Ja'Kobi Lane
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Riley Patterson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Riley Patterson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Riley Patterson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.