The Inactive-at-11:58 Hex of Riley Patterson
Riley Patterson · BAL · K
“Patterson gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Memphis's biggest rival.” — Sister Sack
More ways the witch ruins Patterson's week
- Patterson finishes with 4.2 points. Not 4.0. Not 5.0. The single most insulting number.
- Patterson's only highlight is a block, and it is not even a good one.
87%POTENCY
-14.7PTS DRAINED
Total MeltdownVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A forgotten fantasy trophy from 2014
- A single Lions jersey, ironically worn
- The soul of a QB who threw to the wrong team
- A shred of a Week 1 waiver wire pickup who is now a Bills fan
Incantation
Patterson, Patterson, in the pale moonlight,
May your target share shrink out of sight,
And may the ref not see your catch tonight.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Derrick Henry
- Zay Flowers
- Brandon Aubrey
- Mark Andrews
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Ja'Kobi Lane
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Evan McPherson
FAQ
How do I curse Riley Patterson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Riley Patterson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Riley Patterson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.