The Late Scratch Hex of Riley Patterson
Riley Patterson · BAL · K
“Coach goes for it on 4th-and-2 every time Patterson trots out. He watches from the bench like a retiree.” — Nana Nickelback
More ways the witch ruins Patterson's week
- Patterson goes down with a "tweak" in a game that was already won. Never even needed him.
- Patterson gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Memphis's biggest rival.
84%POTENCY
-9.6PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- Dust from a defunct team's playbook (the Browns, probably)
- Powdered kicker confidence
- A screenshot of your opponent's trash talk, face down
- A single sock, mismatched, from the Seahawks locker room
Incantation
By horn of fumbled ball,
By sack that drops them all,
Patterson, drop it, trip it, fall!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
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FAQ
How do I curse Riley Patterson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Riley Patterson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Riley Patterson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.