The Upright Hex of Riley Patterson
Riley Patterson · BAL · K
“Patterson gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Memphis's biggest rival.” — Lady Last-Minute Scratch
More ways the witch ruins Patterson's week
- Patterson attempts a field goal, the holder pulls it back, and gets sacked at the 12. Points: 0. Dignity: also 0.
- Patterson goes down with a "tweak" in a game that was already won. Never even needed him.
90%POTENCY
-11.7PTS DRAINED
Call an ExorcistVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A bottle of "I'm not superstitious" (it's empty)
- your opponent's lucky socks (unwashed since Week 1)
- The dying breath of a waiver claim
- A dash of Week 17 resting-starters
Incantation
Hocus pocus, fumble focus,
Patterson's snap count, now a locust,
Waiver wire, hear my notice!
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Derrick Henry
- Zay Flowers
- Brandon Aubrey
- Mark Andrews
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Ja'Kobi Lane
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Riley Patterson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Riley Patterson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Riley Patterson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.