The Shank Hex of Riley Patterson
Riley Patterson · BAL · K
“Patterson gets chased around the field all game by the mascot of Memphis's biggest rival.” — The Old Crone of the Red Zone
More ways the witch ruins Patterson's week
- Patterson's best play of the day happens on a play where he is not the ball carrier.
- Patterson hits the upright twice, then the other upright, then somehow the crossbar from the side.
81%POTENCY
-9.2PTS DRAINED
Seriously CursedVERDICT
Ritual ingredients
- A bag of cold gas-station nachos
- Powdered kicker confidence
- A fumbled football, blessed by nobody
- One hair from a referee who "didn't see it"
Incantation
Spirits of the checkdown past,
Make Patterson's Sunday dim and vast,
One yard short. The die is cast.
🔮 Hex my real fantasy opponent
Hex someone else
- Derrick Henry
- Zay Flowers
- Brandon Aubrey
- Mark Andrews
- Cameron Dicker
- Jason Myers
- Ka'imi Fairbairn
- Cam Little
- Ja'Kobi Lane
- Jake Bates
- Chris Boswell
- Harrison Mevis
FAQ
How do I curse Riley Patterson in fantasy football?
Read the hex below, send it to your league chat, or use Fantasy Witch to curse your real matchup. If Riley Patterson is on your opponent's roster, the witch picks the victim for you.
Will cursing Riley Patterson actually work?
No. It is for trash talk and entertainment. But if it does work, we would like credit.